


Loose hearts

by Cutiepie61212



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-05-23 18:32:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6126114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cutiepie61212/pseuds/Cutiepie61212
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a story shipping Jean and Marco, in the story people are born with a Heart line which is a tattoo that can be anywhere (arms, legs, back, chest, etc.). Every day one of the lines gets taken of, until your inevitable death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day one

Marco’s POV

Another one was lost today, one more part of my heart line.   
It’s not a huge surprise, nothings new.   
Each day you lose one line, that’s just how it works.   
I am pretty sick of the monthly appointments that I have to go to.   
All of the checks they do on me to see what I’m going to die of, there’re all pointless.   
I know I’m going to die, they know I’m going to die so what’s the point of wasting time on me?   
There is no possible way for them to save me.   
I’ve accepted it, I’m okay with dying because there’s no one here who is going to miss me.   
To all the doctors I’m just another “Case that can’t be saved”. 

 

Everyone in class was talking about Jean,   
the one other student in the school who wouldn’t talk about their heart line no matter what.   
It makes me wonder if he’s in the same boat as me.   
Not getting too close to people ether,   
to make sure no one misses him when he eventually passes away.   
It’s the normal thing people like us do. We don’t want people to worry, even if it means no one will remember us.

 

I made a mental goal to try and talk to him, just to see if my theory was right.   
I didn’t honestly believe I could talk to him, he was a popular kid that no one knew anything about.   
He was the type of guy people looked up to.   
He was extremely smart supposedly and the whole school was “friends with him” even though no one has ever talked to him. 

 

I went to my normal spot in the schools garden,   
just to watch the birds but I found something else there that caught my eye way more than any stupid bird would.   
Him, Jean Kirstein just sitting there watching a couple from a distance.   
The closer I got the more I could tell who the couple was.   
It was Mikasa and Annie, they looked so cute together but “I didn’t think they were dating”.   
I said the last part out loud and made Jean turn to me and start to laugh, his laugh was so deep, it suited him perfectly.

 

“Mikasa just asked her out, that’s why you haven’t seen them together”

“Is it a good guess to say you are the reason they are together?”

“Wow good guess, it was me. They looked too cute I had to do something”   
His overall personality was just amazing, all of the talk about him is wrong.   
There’s so much more to this guy.

 

“So, I haven’t met you before, are you one of the people in the fan club for me?”

“No I’m not” I started to laugh, there’s a club dedicated to this guy?

“Good, if you were I would have to walk away and stop talking to a cute guy like you”  
I started to blush, what in the world did he just say? Is he just kidding or does he mean it?

“You look shocked has no one ever called you cute?”  
Before I could say anything he grabbed a piece of paper and rote down what I assumed was his number.

 

“Sorry I have to get going but call me so we can talk more”  
He gathered his things got up and left, leaving me back in my element with the birds,   
the now just pretty birds. Their old spot of beautiful was taken by a certain Jean.

 

That was the only good thing about my day,   
latter in the day I was called back to the hospital.


	2. The news

Marco’s POV

The only thing that’s really sad about my life is the constant doctor’s appointments I have to go to.  
But that was going to change from this day forward,  
they told me that I was dying of this really dumb ass illness.  
Never the less I’m happy they know what it is,  
well happy that at least there isn’t going to be anymore doctor’s appointments.

 

Leaving the building felt amazing, no more hell to go through.  
The second I got to my black car and started the engine,  
I remembered that a curtain person gave me there number and told me to call whenever.  
I couldn’t wait to hear his voice after an hour of being in a meeting with just about twenty doctor’s,  
but it’s better for me to call him later to make sure he’s not doing anything.

 

What felt like hours driving and waiting to get home, was actually only five minutes.  
When I got out of my car I decided that saying outside would probably keep me in a better mood,  
considering the fact that my house looked absolutely terrible in every way possible.  
I dialled his number, making a meantal note of all of the numbers. It rang twice and then he picked up. 

 

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s a… it’s Marco”

“Ohh hey Marco what’s up, I’ve been waiting for you to call”

“Uh.. Nothing much just got home”

“Wow really? It takes you this long to get home?” 

“No I stopped some were first” 

“Oh okay sounds fun”

“Not really it was really boring actually”

“I see, that’s why you called me. Cause you think I’m so interesting, hey did I guess right?”

“Well you’re not far, I called to see if you’d like to hang out sometime?”  
There was a pause and I couldn’t tell if he was shocked or thinking of a way to turn me down.  
Then he laughed like I said something funny.

 

“Is this a joke? Dude you stole my line. I don’t know if I can hang out tomorrow because I’m going on a date though”

“You’re dating someone?”

“Yeah I am her name is Emma”  
He sounded so disappointed that he was talking about her,  
I wonder if he really likes her..

 

“Uh… How about this weekend?”

“That sounds great, do you want me to pick you up at your house?”

“No it’s fine, I mean what would your girlfriend think?”

 

He laughed but it wasn’t his laugh, it was fake and I could tell.  
We ended the call and I can’t help but still think, does he like her?  
Does he like me? Or is this all just a game to him? 

Before I realised it I was on my bed,  
with the same three questions in my head,  
and what if this and what if that every so often.


	3. My thoughts shall control me

Marco’s POV

 

Ever feel so down that no song can even begin to talk about how you feel? Yeah, me too. Today I watched as Jean and his girlfriend kissed each other at lunch, to be honest I knew that there was no way of us to be together. It was a foolish idea that I conjured up to try and make myself think that my life could have some good in it. But I have to realise that nothing good will ever happen to me. My destiny is to die a sad unknown life, what makes that thought even more depressing is that I don’t care if that was to happen to me. To me it doesn’t matter how many people will remember you or how many will miss you, I myself want to avoid people to be upset over my loss. It just happens that the lovely old universe also seems to feel that way, because every time I love someone they get taken away from me. Up until now I’ve never felt the need to have someone in my life that could make me happy for the rest of my life, even f “the rest of my life” is coming to an end soon. I just don’t know why this is my fate, hell I don’t care if I die someday but why? Why can’t I just have him? That’s all I ask. A dying wish, that’s what you can call it, I want just one more thing before I die. Him.

 

How long? That was the question now. **_How long_ ** until I get him all to myself? Seconds, into hours, into days, into weeks. When? When could I have him? Could he ever want me?..... no. All that he wants is to be friends and that fact is killing me. Why?

 

It’s been a long time since I skipped class, who would notice me being gone? No one that’s who. I ended up skipping the last three classes of the day. I ran home to try and calm myself and all of my thoughts, but it didn’t do anything.

 

“I just want to run, hide it away. Run because their chasing me down. I just want to run, throw it away. Run before they all find me out” I guess you can say I found something to relate to at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you can all tell by now but the format and when I post new chapters is never going to be the same. but on a happier note, I hope you guys are liking loose hearts and there shall be more to come.


	4. How did you-?

Marco’s POV

The sun started to rise on a lovely Saturday morning and the thought of spending a day with Jean made it look so much prettier. I grabbed at my night stand to try and get my phone to see what time it was, 11:30. Shit, I’m going to be late, wait where did he say he lived? It took a moment for me to realize that he never told me. Great, just great. How do I drive to his house if I don’t have any clue where he lives? I don’t that’s how. My happy go lucky attitude towards the day was slowly turning into one of sadness and anger. It’s okay, I can just-  
My thoughts were stopped by a low ringing noise. The sound of a phone? Wait, what phone? I don’t have a ringtone, mine just vibrates. So who’s-  
“Marco? Are you home?” a voice called out, “is this even the right place? If those dicks-” there was another ringing noise that made the man stop talking.  
“Hello? Who’s there?” I said while making my way to the front door.   
“Marco? Hey its Jean, sorry I forgot to tell you were I lived” he said with a nerves laugh.  
“It’s fine don’t worry about it” I said as I opened the and looked down  
“But next time don’t randomly show up, and…..uh… how did you get hear?” I said as I shifted my gaze slowly up to his eyes, going over everything he was wearing. Black Convers, gray pants with a black speckle pattern, a blue flannel but his face was the cutest part, there was a small blush spread on his cheeks as he thought of how to answer me.  
“Well, I asked about ten people if they knew where you lived and all of them told me to go talk to Connie and Sasha”   
Of course it was those two. I used to know them before they started dating, when I was the third wheel every time we all hung out. I got tired of it so I just told them that they liked each other. As simple as that, they left and I was fine with it. How did they even remember where I live? they came here twice when dad was still here. When he was here…  
“Hey you okay? Are you upset because I came here?”   
“No, not at all I just haven’t heard from those two in a long time. Are they okay?”   
“Yeah there fine, worried about you but fine”  
“Why are they worried about me?”  
“They say that you avoid people and you don’t want to get involved with people. That’s the only reason they told me where you live you know, because they’re worried”  
“If you see them can you tell them not to worry and they shouldn’t worry about me”  
“Why don’t you tell them?”   
I could sense worry start to become present in his voice, I want to tell him but then he’d be getting involved with me and I can’t do that to him.  
“They’re right”  
“What do you mean?”  
“I do avoid people, but it’s had as hell to avoid you because you’re everywhere I go” I said it with a fake laugh trying to make him change the topic. He seemed to pick up on me being uncomfortable and gestured for us to go into my house.  
“I warn you now, I’m not a very neat person nor am I organised”  
“it’s okay don’t worry nether am I” he stopped for a moment seeming to be scanning my entrance.   
“is that the smell of roses?”   
“good nose, I have some in my kitchen that I picked yesterday at lunch in the garden at school”  
“Can I see them?”  
“Sure come with me”  
I lead him down my long hallway to the end. When you walked in the first thing you see is the variation of plants I have which are illuminated by the outside light of the sun. And there in the center of them all is a white rose and a black one.  
“Wow, the school has black roses?”  
“Yeah they do, I’ll show you on Monday where they are if you’d like?”  
“Sure that sounds great” he said with a smile

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How you enjoyed and next chapter is more on their date.


	5. It will happen again, and again

Marco’s POV

Jean, a man that has a girlfriend is in my home and I’m trying to date him, what in the world I’m I doing? What happened to not getting attached? Why I’m I trying? Lonely, maybe that’s it. I thought I was stronger than that though, maybe I am not what I thought I was. Maybe I am changing, and it’s probably for the better to be honest, I mean no one loves a walking dead person right? 

He is sitting on a black chair looking out of my window with the white embroidered curtains. His skin is so nice, his hair looks really good today too. Wait, not just that his clothes are really nice too. They look kind of fancy. Weird.

“Hey, you have some really fancy clothes on, what’s up with that”

“Oh you noticed,” he giggles 

“I thought maybe you’d like to see me being fancy”

“Is that so? Well you look good. Then again, you always look good”

“You don’t look too bad yourself Marco”

He stayed until after eating dinner with me. Nothing fancy just something I through together. You would think that I would be better at cooking after all these years being alone. 

After lying in bed for a while my phone starts ringing. Its tone the same as always, the opening to a show I watched when I was younger.

I pick it up and for a second there is silence, why didn’t I realize that silence is never a good sign. 

There is always silence before a storm, there was silence in the hospital room mom was in right before she died, 

there was slice before the doctors told my dad I was going to die young,

silence before my dad left me years ago, and silence now. 

When the one person I love started crying on the other line.


	6. When it all starts to hit the fan

Marco’s POV

“I can’t deal with this, I…ju..st…can’t” the only words Jean said before the line cut out, filling the room with silence again. Slice, the one thing I hate more than my shit storm of a life. The thoughts that flow in my head are crazy but that doesn’t matter I have to make sure he is okay.

I am stopped in my tracks by an extreme pain were my lungs are located, it is like someone just punched me in the stomach. All of the air pushed out of my stomach made me fall to the ground. 

“Not….now….I…am..not…dying..today” I pull back my long sleeve that hides my heart line,  
“yeah…like..i..th..ought, not yet… I still have four days”

Sooner than I would like but it’s enough.

I grab my phone and start typing Sasha the one person that I know that will pick up on things,  
like were people live, like emotions. Like my emotions, I miss her. We were such good friends and now we never talk.  
That’s not the point Marco, stay focused. I called her and she came and picked me up.

“Hey bud what’s wrong? You look really pale and worried”

“I need you to take me to Jeans house and wait outside”

“..Okay, as long as you at least let me say bye to you when you…” she trailed off

“Die…?”

“Yeah..” she said as she looked down and wiped a tear from her cheek 

“..How long have you known, Sasha”

“A long time, I know your time is soon too…. I found out when you slept over at Connie’s house…  
I got curious, I mean you never talk about it so I thought you had a really long life spam and didn’t want anyone to feel bad” she paused and looked at me 

“I counted all the lines and since then I’ve counted down the days, I just want to be able to know that you don’t die alone and lonely”

“Thank you Sasha” I looked away from her with tears in my eyes, she is so amazing. I’m glade to have met her. 

The rest of the drive was silence. Not a bad silence for once. 

The second that we got close to jeans house I could see him, he is in a ball against his fence. With the way he is I can’t see his face but I can tell he is crying.

 

The second that the car stopped I ran straight to him. When I got to him I got down and gave him a hug. The second that I touched him I felt him flinch.

“Why are you hear Jean, what happened?”

“I was waiting for you to come”

“I’m here now, are you okay? What’s wrong? What happened?” he looked up when I finished talking.  
His face a light pink-ish red with tears in his eyes.

“I’m sick of this”

“Of what?”

“Lying to people”

“Lying? About what Jean?”

“Come with me, you’ll see. Just don’t run away, just don’t leave”

“I’m not going to leave you Jean, I promise” He got up grabbed my hand and led me into his house.  
Then into his room, which is a complete mess and the only light in the room is coming from his window but the curtains are pulled in so there is not a lot of light.

“a heart line” he said while grabbing my other hand so he could hold them both.

“Something that we all are born with”

“Yet it seems I, Jean Kirstein was never born with one” there was a pause

“Are you freaked out?”

“No, no I’m not. Why is that upsetting?”

“Because, I don’t know when I will die.”

“So? What’s wrong with that?”

“I’m scared that I’ll die and not get the chance to do what I want, I don’t know how long I have to test out things. Like us”

“Us?”

“I don’t want to die with the regret of being nothing more than friends, But you aren’t gay”

“Who said I wasn’t” the second I said that I leaned in and kissed him 

“Marco, I think that I love you”

“I think I love you too Jean”

Why can’t I have just been given a longer time line? Why? I wish I could just have a moment like this and not have to worry.  
It’s too bad that after I said that to jean the room started to spin and then my vision went black.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked the first chapter in this Fanfiction, and hopefully I can post another chapter soon.


End file.
